I was walking 'cross the golf course to the KKP
 I met some friends a coming down from NMD
 They were laughing and a'joking just as happy as can be.
 This cat comes up and asks me if I want some LSD
 I offer him a joint - they all look at me
 And then they drive off in a car that runs on STP.
 You're my IBI, babe, my IBI.

 I saw the convocation, it was down in the grill.
 The soccer team had just been beaten up on the hill.
 They all came in in maroon and gold frill.
 I just sat and watched them all from on the window sill.
 Nobody said a thing- they were absolutely still.
 If Green Curtains don't get you then the Orange Horse will.
 You're my Purple Phogg, babe, my purple fog.

 I'm taking Nat Sci 4, but I can't understand
 just how it is I got to be to where I think I am.
 I'm supposed to by-pass Nat Sci 3, but I don't see how I can
 because it's not until December that they offer the exam,
 and meanwhile Rita's entropy has gotten out of hand.
 I would like to transfer out but they will stop me if I can.
 You're my Metcalf Tower, babe, my Metcalf Tower.

 I never said I loved you, babe, I never knew how.
 I'd like to tell you, Honey, but it's too late now.
 Now you've gone and left me: things are just not the same.
 You've fucked me up most royally. I'm going insane.
 I keep on telling myself I've got to go on with a sigh
 but some times I feel so lonely that I just want to die.
 You're my GIS, babe, my GIS.

 There is a checkered spider in a Campbell Memorial Door
 who's woven a web across the lintel and all the way down to the floor.
 I wonder if Henry Shimer ever saw such a sight before?
 When he'd seen that he'd blown his brains out
 and he didn't want to do it anymore
 so he climbed up into the rafters just to join Jesus on a cross of gore
 and stretched himself out to the end of the line til his head didn't hurt any more?
 But I'm hanging on in there, babe, I keep hanging on in.

(By Eric Nicholson, first four verses circa fall 1969, final verse shortly before move to Waukegan.)

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